Chuck Norris

[OR17TRD]

When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor.

Chuck Norris wasn’t born he escaped.

Then drove his mom home from the hospital.

Then slapped his father and said “I’m the man of the house now.”

 

[Bogunn]

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokémon cards.

 

[Bogunn]

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

 

[Bogunn]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet... he scares the crap out of it.


Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.


Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.


Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.


Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.


Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.


Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.


Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.

 

[Atomic Diesel]

Chuck Norris phoned in an MMA fight, and won.

 

[Lil G]

I like the heart attack one.

 

[Bogunn]

It’s hard to believe that guy is 78 years old.

 

[Lil G]

I know. He was a bad dude in the early 80s . He was untouchable.

 

[Bogunn]

I know. He was a bad dude in the early 80s . He was untouchable.

He still is pretty awesome.

 

[Lil G]

I but I watched his movies at least twenty times. Uncommon valor was another one of my favorites.

 

[Bogunn]

I but I watched his movies at least twenty times. Uncommon valor was another one of my favorites.

That may be my favorite.

 

[Lil G]

I may be talking out of turn but there were some great movies in the 80s

 

[Bogunn]

I may be talking out of turn but there were some great movies in the 80s

Absolutely.
@kp.taco loves the 80’s movies 16 Candles and Pretty in Pink.
He plays them at his Brony parties.

 

[Lil G]

I’m trying to think of all of them but can’t. Heartbreak ridge .

 

[Bogunn]

I’m trying to think of all of them but can’t. Heartbreak ridge .

Oh yeah. Gunny Highway. That’s a great one.

 

[OR17TRD]

Absolutely.
@kp.taco loves the 80’s movies 16 Candles and Pretty in Pink.
He plays them at his Brony parties.

Labyrinth and dark crystal

 

[Bogunn]

Labyrinth and dark crystal

Yeah..... those look like @kp.taco flicks.

 

[OR17TRD]

View attachment 20418
View attachment 20420
Yeah..... those look like @kp.taco flicks.

Thought so. Haha

 

[Atomic Diesel]

Oh yeah. Gunny Highway. That’s a great one.

Red Dawn

 

[Bogunn]

Red Dawn

Absolutely. The first is better than the remake. There was a lot bigger Red threat then.